Loss leads to Lament (part 2)

Finding purpose in the pain (see 2Cor 1; from part 1) is part of the reason for difficulty or trial. If loss leads to lament, why is it so hard for us to lament? Maybe we have never been trained or encouraged to make this a part of our liturgy!  Is lament missing from our schooling?

In his book, A Sacred Sorrow: reaching out to God in the Lost Language of Lament, Michael Card outlines the problem:  “After 9-11, Calvin Seerveld pointed out to me that the church has no such songs to sing. That pierced my heart and forced me to look at biblical laments. The literature states that anywhere from 30 to 70 percent of the psalms are laments. …they range from struggling with disease and death to the victory and prosperity of the wicked to downright disappointment with God.” Have you ever been disappointed with God, with what He is doing or allowing? But you thought, “What can I do?”

In the forward to that book, Eugene Peterson asks, “Why are Christians, of all people, embarrassed by tears, uneasy in the presence of sorrow, unpracticed in the language of lament? It certainly is not a biblical heritage, for virtually all our ancestors in the faith were thoroughly “acquainted with grief.” And our Savior was, as everyone knows, “a Man of Sorrows.” Card spells out the reality: We have permission in the Word of God, in the Voice of God to complain to God! But we don’t know how, possibly because we have ignored half of the Psalter, the songbook of the early Christians and God’s Chosen People, the Jews!

Card says,  “Because laments really are a door to reality, we need them now more than ever. The church is “asleep in the Light,” as Keith Green wrote years ago. I believe laments help wake us up. Reintroducing the lament psalms would be a wonderful place to start. [from “Our Need To Lament” ]

Let’s look at it this way, because our songs of faith and praise and worship don’t make much room for lament we have a problem. Since we have grown up with “happy all the time” Jesus songs, we may not realize we are ignoring so much of the Bible in expressing our faith and relationship with God! You can imagine my surprise to discover at the Benedictine Monastery in Oxford, MI that the monks sang through the entire 150 Psalms every week, yes, including all of the lament Psalms. This was common in the medieval monastery!

So let’s start with the basics: You have experienced loss. You may have sent your beloved son or daughter to distant shore, following the call of The Father! It’s time to tell your Father God, exactly how you feel. Your mission, and yes, this will really make a difference, is to sit down in a quiet space and write a lament. That may sound difficult or even impossible but don’t dismiss the idea too quickly. Maybe a simple outline will help.

Writing my own Lament:

This is an opportunity to express yourself to your Father without the subtle niceties of how you typically address Him in polite company. You are encouraged to lose your ‘prayer voice’ and speak directly to Him. A goal to aim for is brutally honest/fully trusting.

Here are a few Psalms of Lament to use as a guide: Psalm 13, 25, 44, 60, 74, 79, 80, 85, 90. Read them over and see if you can discover patterns that you will want to use in your own lament.

Use the prompts  below to help you create your lament. Don’t feel like every element needs to be included, but sit with each to see if it doesn’t help you express yourself to your Father.

1. Address God: Call on your Father with the names and descriptions that make the most sense to you in this moment.
2. Complaint: Tell God what you are lamenting today. Articulate the problem, complaint, struggle or wrongdoing and ask the Lord for help. Be as specific as possible.
3. Affirm the past: Note when God has acted in the past out of a hope for the future.
4. Confess sin/ignorance: If you have had any role in the difficulty you are facing – whether knowingly or not – confess this to your Father.
5. Confession of trust: Verbalize your trust in the LORD.
6. Petition/Request: Request deliverance or God’s intervention in the problem. Tell God what you would like Him to do about your complaint. Be as specific as possible with this.
7. Rationale: Explain to God why you believe He should do what you are asking.
8. Assurance of being heard: Put into words how it makes you feel that, as you speak, you know He listens.
9. Promise to praise: Even if you are not yet ready to praise in the midst of your lament, promise to do so when the time comes.
10. Gratitude for God’s character: If you are emotionally able to do so, declare what you are thankful for in God’s character. (adapted from Andy Johnson, Mission Resource Network & AnnArbor Vineyard church)

Here’s the challenge. Please make an attempt to follow this biblical idea of naming your losses/trials, writing your own lament and then take the time to share it with one other person. Let us know how it makes a difference in the months ahead. By the way, if you have not already done so, please go back and complete the challenge from Part 1 on the previous blog. Yes, we would love to hear from you!