“The best of life is conversation!”—Ralph Waldo Emerson
We need to talk! Where should we start? Is there a useful roadmap to help us figure out where to start or what to remember in initiating or continuing fruitful conversations? This month, we’ve decided we can’t wait any longer! In January of this year when we gathered with Scott & Kim Lambert for our annual retreat of “The Conversation Group”, we were gifted a priceless guide: The Six Conversations: Pathways to Connecting in an Age of Isolation and Incivility. The author, Heather Holleman, is a teaching professor at Penn State and author of eight books. Interested yet? Would it make a difference if we shared from the Forward by Gary Chapman, the author of The 5 Love Languages? “This book is your guide to have better conversations, whether on a first date, in line at the grocery store, or with a friend or spouse you’ve had for a long time.”
Holleman sets the stage by challenging us to think in terms of our approach to conversation from the outset. What are “the four most critical things to do to foster a warm and connected conversation?”(p20)
- Be curious
- Believe the best
- Express concern
- Share your life
For the next 6 chapters, the author fleshes out what these ideas involve as we lean into each encounter, before she introduces us to the “six conversations”. (No, we are not going to give those away here. You will need your own copy.) You won’t want to miss this roadmap that takes us past important stops such as “3 ways to offer encouragement and refreshment to others.”(p67) If we are to indeed “encourage one another” and allow the “streams of living water” to flow freely to refresh those in our circles of influence, we encourage you to spend some time digging deeply into this very helpful book. You will have opportunity to stop and consider how you are doing with each personal inventory.
Because we have a ministry that desires to listen well and reflect the glory of God, we strive to live out “care and conversation”.
Consider making this your aim:
Let’s think about our next conversation as a way to honor others above ourselves, to value others above ourselves and take an interest in them, to encourage one another, to demonstrate kindness and compassion, and ultimately, to love people. When we do this, we reflect God’s character. (p49)
Have you been searching for the right question to get the ball rolling in a conversation with those closest to you in your life or someone you simply want to get to know on a deeper level? Just before finishing up with the “Appendix” – Professor Holleman’s 100 favorite questions to get to know her students (or anyone) which we consider a gold mine for initiating rich conversations, we want to share the author’s closing thoughts in the hope this will encourage you to get the book for yourself:
When we engage in meaningful conversation with others, we enter into a sacred space. If we allow it to, a conversation becomes holy ground. No conversation is an accident or without a divine purpose. There’s always something to ask about others—whether social, physical, emotional, cognitive, volitional, or spiritual. And we can use those questions to encourage, help one another grow, and ultimately lead us to worship. (p173)
