When you see this bridge on the path ahead, what is your first thought? Honestly?!
“Wow! What an adventure!”…or
“Help!! I am not sure if I can make it!? Isn’t there another way??”
We are in transition. We want to be in North Carolina, closer to family; closer to grandchildren. But, it has been hard, thinking about leaving great friends and an amazing church to start again. Interestingly, as we have walked countless returning global workers through this process, we now find ourselves in the midst of transition, right there on the bridge; yes, that transition bridge. “What does it mean to be on the transition bridge?” you ask! I am so thankful you asked. We believe the answer may be helpful, no matter what transition you are experiencing.
Exodus 14:13-14 “But Moses told the people, “Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the LORD rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. The LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”
We have a God who will make a way when there seems to be no way! This is one of my favorite transition passages: Israel had been set free from hundreds of years of slavery – and now they were seemingly “trapped” and even wanted to go back.(14:10-12) Will we panic or… pray and then listen for the Father’s direction? This boils it down and makes it pretty simple for transition steps to remember:
- “Don’t be afraid!” (Isa. 41:10, 13; Ps. 23:4; 46:1, 2; 56:3-5; 91 and of course, Josh. 1:9 see below)
- “Just stand still…” (insert here “Be still and know…” Ps. 46:10) This may seem counterintuitive when the enemy is pressing in and it’s time to move! But, at times, our best course of action is to just stand still so we can… We need to take time to stop and be still so we can think about what is really going on! What is God up to? What is He doing behind the scenes – or right in front of our eyes.
- “Watch the LORD…” This takes me right to Ps. 121! “I look up to the mountains—does my help come from there?” (even though I love looking at and being in the mountains, that is NOT where my help originates!) “My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.” Including those very mountains! The LORD is the One who comes to the rescue! He is The Warrior, fighting our battles for us and with us.
- “Just stay calm.” When in transition, yes, transition of any kind, it’s time to take a deep breath and remember we can be calm because He’s got this! This is a matter of trust! (Ps 28:7) Since “the LORD is my strength and shield”, I CAN and MUST “trust Him with all my heart.”
How are we leaving? “Like an army, ready for battle?”(Ex. 13:18NLT) Or running scared, with our tail between our legs, confused, frustrated, insecure?? Are we bewildered by His purposes or confirmed in our convictions that we are His beloved children? Can we hear him singing over us? (Zeph. 3:17) It’s time for that great Joshua transition song: “Be strong and courageous! Do not be terrified! Do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go!” (Joshua 1:9 NIV)
When we work with families in reentry at ABIDE, (www.traininternational.org ) we literally walk them through the Transition Bridge exercise (see graphic), asking questions along the way. What is your identity here? What voices are you hearing? What is the truth about where you are right now? What transition are you experiencing? Explore your emotions/feelings with every step. Maybe this will help us understand what our family members far away are experiencing.
So as we consider this question of transition, we have three simple questions:
- What helps?
- What hinders?
- Where are you on the transition bridge right now?
What helps Jill? “Good friends walking alongside and finding purpose in what you are doing.” When you are in transition, choose your friends well – and be intentional about the time you spend with them. As we write this, Jill has returned to Texas for Women’s Conference, to be with her buddies! What helps Mark? Frankly, watching how God has worked, helping us to trust Him every step of the way! We didn’t have the energy or strength to load or unload a uHaul! But the Father provided. (see photos below)
What hinders Jill? “Denial works, but only until it doesn’t! Being stuck in the grief of what we are missing or what we have lost and long for?! Wishing we were more settled or had better clarity on next steps.” What hinders Mark? “Thinking it’s all about me! What I have to get done, when it’s really God’s work and what He wants accomplished!”
Where are you on the transition bridge right now? For Jill that is “unsettled”! For Mark, “Acceptance” and “Exploration” excited about new beginnings and seeing where God will lead. Not only finding new hiking trails in Raven Rock State Park, but also new friends & neighbors, a new church home where we can grow and serve, and new understanding of how we can best serve family, both close by and far away.
Since our friend and mentor, Dr. Dottie Schulz, has frequently written or spoken on transition, we asked her what we need to remember during this time of transition. Her words of wisdom give such insight, especially since she is so good at explaining life in “liminality”!:
Living in liminality, i.e. that “in-between place” where we experience disorientation, and dis-identity, can affect our values and character. It is a place where people are most vulnerable. Liminality occurs after change has occurred. It is important for Christians in times like these to remember who they are. To remember their primary identity. They are members of the kingdom of God. They are children of God. Living one moment at a time, one day at a time is important. Today’s trouble is enough. It’s important to decide who you want to be on the other side of liminality. It is the time to face what needs to be faced, and to behave in godly ways as you face the future. Reading and praying the Psalms can be helpful at this time. Avoid making decisions that you will regret in five years. Dallas Willard says “When you are in the kingdom, you are always safe. When decisions need to be made, don’t think what would Jesus do, but rather think, if I were Jesus, what will I do? Abandon outcomes to God.” That’s the hardest part. Get support from others!
“While it is true that time goes on, sometimes our emotions stay in one place.” (Chuck Morris, shared by Dottie Schulz from Facebook)
